We are IN this. and I should have written sooner if I was going to document this properly, but I didn't and here we are so this might be a two part-er of part 2.
It's literally fine.
So let's begin.
So since we last spoke, I had my egg retrieval, and my transfer and there has been emotions on emotions.
Also, I am basically a doctor now, because I am going to school for medical coding and ALSO because I give myself so many shots that I should be charging myself a deductible and Tricare should be paying me but that is neither here nor there.
So we did a couple of weeks of shots to produce more follicles which hold eggs, the follicles can hold anywhere between 0-2 eggs. They have you develop more follicles than normal so that way you have the best chances. Well when I woke up, they had egggstracted 16 eggs, which is incredible.
8 of them made it through the fertilization process and 6 of them made it through the cryopreservation process after developing for more than 5 days, which means they have more likely of a chance surviving because there are a lot of cells.
So I had 6 Capt America Babies.
Well during my egg retrieval they had to perform a surgery to make sure I didn't have anything adhering to my uterus which would prevent implanting, so they went in and when they go in to make sure they put more saline in there which would destroy the embryos, so I had to wait a couple of weeks * a month to be exact, before I could start to prep my body for a FET, aka a Frozen Embryo Transfer.
We did our Frozen Embryo Transfer on Monday Oct 9th.
And you know how I like to keep things super interesting....I decided although advised against.. to do 2 embryos. Yes, I said that correctly...2.
The reason they usually advise against is because those embryos can, also multiply. I could have more than 2... but in my heart of hearts I knew that God wanted me to do two. I couldn't stop the force that was coming at me. Something kept pulling me to do two, so we did two.
I hope it means something. I guess I am writing now because between crying every 5 minutes over silly things, and the exhaustion that I am just finally at a point where this is it.
We find out tomorrow morning if I am officially pregnant. And I am honestly so petrified.
I have done everything, absolutely everything in my control to make this happen.. and its now completely out of my hands. I can't take anything I can't do anything at this moment to change the outcome.
and that terrifies me.
This is the truest testament of faith that if it is meant to be for us it will be and if it is not then it is not.
And I have to be okay with that.
I am in completely over my head and I have to be strong regardless of the news tomorrow.
I really don't know if I am more scared that it did take or if it didn't. I really don't know.
But I do know that I am scared. I do know how I felt went I saw those embryos go in. I do know my husband is the best partner that could ever exist.
Seriously though. I have been on hormones since August. I have already shown him so much crazy that its unreal, and he has been patient with me and this has been really hard on the both of us.
I guess I am just so nervous that I don't know how to be right now. We will find out 15 hours.
Shit I am losing it.
