Let's start of where this came about and, then I'll kind of run you through my thoughts here.
So the other night I was out with some friends. I gave a group of future babes a ride home. I say future babes because I am older than them which wasn't a huge deal other than I wish I could be them because they were hammered, and I was being responsible and feeling generous
On the way to there destination, this girl says...
"Oh my God David (I really don't remember what his name was because it's not relevant so we will just say David) texted me and he totally thinks I have gotten way more attractive from the last time we dated. He was the best sex of my life, but he is totally a terrible person Like what should I say."
Before anyone else could answer I immediately said..." say nothing."
She said, "what do you mean?"
I told her,
"You say absolutely nothing. And here is why. Do you value yourself as a person? What made him a terrible person? His response clearly makes him realize he has you, always has, and will continue to treat you that way. Do you want that?"
She replies, "well no...."
I, then, say, "We accept the love we think we deserve. If you let people treat you that way they will always treat you that way because you allow it. Don't put up with it. Someone in this world will value you as the person you are. We all make sacrifices to chose love, but it depends on the sacrifice. Sacrificing leaving your tooth brush in the tooth brush holder over the sink... that's a sacrifice you should make, not sacrificing your quirkiness or your ability to care."
She began to tell me how when she grows up she wants to be me, which is absurd, but she was drunk texting her ex boyfriend, so that's where we were at.
I dropped them off left, thinking maybe I should be an Uber driver, and then thinking...
In majority of my past ...I was that drunk girl in my car. Letting people decide what my value was.
I wasn't better than her...I was preaching to the whole gospel choir.
She was comparing this bro to a rose.
The premise of a rose is beautiful, gentle, fragile, slowly unfolding... blah blah blah. When I should have seen that beauty is the petals.. a rose sucks.
It's pretty and that's about it.
It has atrocious thorns, and it takes over a whole garden, if not pruned.
A rose can be beautiful but if that's all you want; be a rose.
There will always be someone prettier.
There will always be someone funnier.
There will always be someone better at other things than you are.
There will always be someone nicer than you.
There will always be something.
The trick here is that when you are with someone and they realize there will never be another person that is you.
That is the goal of a relationship. All things a side they pick you.
I'd rather be someones Gerbera Daisy than a rose anyways.