Monday, April 4, 2016

The Ex Files: Part Two: Mr. Dick

We dated for a long time... off and on for the better half of three years.  That doesn't include the 10 months at the beginning when, I had to trick him into dating me.

That's a thing I do, by the way.  If you don't want to date me, I will hang out until I wear you down and then, the next thing we are together.

The first time I met him I had just gotten back from Spring Break my freshman year from Florida with my family.  I was talking to this guy while I was gone and he invited me over to his friend's house and that's when I saw this gorgeous creature. 
I hung out with my girl friend  over there for an hour or so and then we headed to a party. 
I couldn't stop thinking about that blonde haired, blue eyed master piece. 
So I got drunk and went back over to hang out with him.
I was 19 at the time and they wanted to go to the bar.
So the first time we kissed I was drinking underage at a bar.
This was, also, the first time I had ever drank at a bar.

I was living in a different town, but he would make the effort to come see me.
Once he surprised me at my dorm.  Tackled me to the ground and I cried.
We had so many adventures together.

He was the best boyfriend I had ever had.
He was my biggest supporter, and cheerleader.
I was so in love with him.

Fireworks, holidays with our families, birthdays, ski trips, the aquarium, spontaneous trips to Amarillo, going to the lake, waking up in the middle of the night singing to John Mayer and Something Corporate, snow dayss, my car wreck, bingo. So many memories. 

Which it has been 4 years since we have been together, and the montage of events of us are always similar to the memories Facebook shows me which, are all the good times.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that it all really happened. 

They weren't all good. 

I was so insecure in our relationship.  I use to go through his phone because I didn't trust him. 
Things would happen, and he would disappear for days and I couldn't understand what was happening.

We were growing up but something wasn't right.  We were grow-up but growing apart.
It was so strange.

It was like a train wreck that I could see coming but couldn't stop or get out of the way from. 
It wasn't later that I found out there was a substance issue that destroyed him, and us.

I didn't know what was going on and I tried to tell him we were falling apart but things ended up bad,  I left him for one of his "best friends".

I am a terrible girlfriend.  You were warned. 

Years later, he turned his whole life around.  He is an amazing person.  He needed away from all of this.  I loved him, and I still have so much love for him.

Last I heard he has a beautiful girlfriend and treats her how I wish I could have been treated for the last year of our relationship.  I am very proud of him, and hope he knows I am still hoping the best for him.

 I haven't heard from him since 2014 but, maybe that's for the best for both of us.

I still tear up when I hear Dig by Incubus, if I can make it through the first 30 seconds.

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