I had a very long talk last night with a good friend of mine. She is going through something so different, yet we can relate so much.
My friend's pelvic floor is completely destroyed due to a form of birth control. She has endured 3 surgeries in 3 years for 3 different issues involving her reproductive system. Doesn't seem like a lot, but when you have a full Hysterectomy by the age of 28 due to pain of your pelvic floor, then it becomes a big deal.
Hysterectomy (if you want it in my terms, is the whole thing gone: egg holder, baby holder, and the Bering Strait; all gone) is the real deal.
You can't go back. But, she had to do this.
We had a long talk about relationships, our goals, and our struggles.
I felt for her. She has never wanted to have children so the news of not being able to have one was not as heart-breaking as it would be to some.
She just wants to be a normal person again.
See with these surgeries, when you have problems in the "south-pole", they are never really a one-and-done kind of thing.
When one problem occurs lots of problems could happen, and it can take awhile before you can return to doing the things you love, or even normal activities.
The thing that makes us as woman is in complete jeopardy.
Being as young as we are it makes the whole becoming a woman thing kind of a running joke.
I only had my period for half of my life before it decided to retire.
People do tell me all the time how lucky I am to not have a period.
Brah...I'll trade you.
I started this blog because of this.
There are so, so, so many women going through these problems. They are not just painful on the person itself, but the spirit.
I have been searching for a peer-led support group to help with this because hearing her story (and many of the stories I have heard from people reading my blog) have not only helped her or you by telling it, but it has helped me. But most groups are for those who have experienced miscarriages, and those who are dealing with infertility with a partner.
I mean, I have no problem showing up alone, but that's what it feels like...being alone.
Family is cool, and friends are great, but if you tell me to adopt or there are other options; I am going to punch you in the face.
You think we don't know that.
We know the cost.
We know most of the options.
But we are living in a society where women that should have children are on their third or fourth, and I am praying for a miracle, or hoping that maybe 40,000 dollars for adoption will be able to be made in payments.
We just want to hear-
Let me vent for a minute, and then tell me a joke.
That's it. Don't try and fix it. Tell me it sucks. Because it does.
And the joke calms my mind. I love to laugh. This is on our minds most of the time, so any distraction at all to help us forget is exactly what we need.
It's called being a friend.
Seriously though the amount of people that have reached out either with kind words, or to share their stories... Thank you.
Keep it up. The positivity you all spread by your love and honesty is what keeps people like us hopeful.