So the doctor's visit went pretty solid today.
I arrived 45 minutes early. I knew it was too early because I arrived at the exact same time as the first person in the office did.
When I got on the elevator, I complete forgot what hospital I was at, and what floor I needed to go to. Thank God the receptionist was on there with me because she called me by name and pressed the proper button.
The waiting is the longest part. The actual meeting takes like 15 minutes.
They say hello, check your weight, check your temperature, and make you pee.
They frown upon you peeing on the doctor.
I don't personally know; I've just heard.
It's the only time a stranger can be like, "How is school? Do you still smoke? Okay.. No... Awesome.. now take your pants off the doctor will be right in. "
I always have a personal debate on whether to take my socks off or not.
Today, I didn't.
Well after the "check-in", Dr. S and I discussed my up-coming surgery.
So turns out we are not going to be able to do the Laparoscopic surgery again (as explained in first post), I will be doing a Laparotomy instead, due to my extensive damage to my left side.
Laparotomy is a stupid word for large cut in abdomen, my lower abdomen to be precise.
I really tried to convince her that we should make two, slanted incisions so I could have a sexy "V" to my "V"...
Apparently it's "impractical" and "unrealistic".
So, instead, we get to do this super balling, 3.5 inch, "C-section" status incision, which will end up going through my tattoo on my right side.
The tattoo is a quote from my favorite book. Dr. S said she will do her best to "put it back together".
If it's anything similar to my glue job from the Santa Plate of 2015; then I am screwed.
I'm going to have to come up with some legit story.
Stabbed in prison is the best I have so far.
I guess on the bright side if my whole career path doesn't work out, at least I can still get a job at a local strip club.
I have, also, been working out to a point of obsessive because I am hoping how in shape I am in a swimsuit will distract from this large scar.
Before you think I am a complete dick; I don't have a problem with C-Sections. I don't have a problem with C-Section scars because when you have one it stands for life that you gave. And that is beautiful.
I am cynical towards mine because mine will not stand for the same thing.
In all actuality, mine will stand for the exact opposite.
I hope that when I look at myself I am not disgusted.
I hope that when I built up the courage to stand naked in front of another person, that it's not the only thing they see.
I hope that when people see me in a swimsuit that they don't whisper about the scars on my stomach.
I hope I learn to love it, instead of feel sadness.