Sunday, February 21, 2016

If I Die Tomorrow

I had a dream a few nights that I died on the surgery table.  Like, in the aspects of I didn't wake up. Nothing gory. 

Naturally, I was freaked out by this because I have extremely vivid dreams.

I went to work after, and thought about it a little. I am not really worried about dying to be honest.  I have lived a good life.

I am not trying to come across morbid, or anything. Everyone dies eventually some sooner rather than others, but I wanted to just let everyone my wishes.

First and foremost, I want to be cremated. 
But not in the way you would think.  I want to do it like the Vikings.  I want a Norse Funeral.
I don't want to be covered in stones after to create a tumulus.
Just a boat, some flaming arrows, and a river.

I'd prefer the lake near my home. Lake Arcadia.

Then scattered.  I want to have at least 3/4 cup of my  remains in each on of my Ex-Boyfriends' yard.
Minus that one that posts pictures of Luis Vuitton things all over his Instagram, that guy isn't getting any of these remains in life and in death..

And each one of my siblings, must have enough to put in a rice necklace and wear it.
That way I remain in their hearts and on their neck.

The rest.. I don't really care. Fertilize a tree or something.

Next thing. I have already told my best friend in the world this... Naturally I was pretty turnip when I said it (drunk), but I totally meant it.

I told him that people that I have had to try to put in my life that have not been there for me, that have blown me off, that I knew from high school that were mean to me, or even my bullies now are not allowed at my Party of Life Fiesta. Nor are allowed to post pictures of us together saying that
Jesus got another good one, or claim they miss me.
That's not what you said when I asked you to go see a movie with me.

You aren't invited to my life party.
You can't act like you are going to miss someone when during there life you didn't even give them the time of day when they were alive.

I have a list.
You are welcome.
And if you show up and you are on the list, I'll haunt the shit out of you.
Some paranormal activity, crazy, you better move out stuff, spiders in your hair.
I am petty like that.

I also want my dog to get all my stuff.
Bed, clothes, and my car; Laney-bug is going to be poppin.

I don't have any doubt that I won't be fine and that dreams are silly
because my sister's cat is not going to grow life size and chase me around a field, even though he is terrifying.

Dreams aren't real, except that one that I had about that one guy...that, that was very real.

Anything could happen.
But I am so thankful of my life.
And the people in it.

There are so many things I want to do with my life. I want to take a road trip to Mount Rushmore. I want to swim with otters, but only three of them because I feel like more than that would just be stupid. I want to go to a play.  I want to fly in a helicopter. I want to drive to California and touch the ocean again.

I am very nervous.
I am okay.
I got this.

I really wish I could have a beer right now.